28 February 2006
"They both tried to eat it. But did not succeed, either raw or fried," said chief prosecutor Markus Köhler.
(the "it" to which they are referring is the cannibalee's wee-wee)
and yes, it does get worse.
on a related note. see karl's t shirts.
Girl #2: Yeah, i'm kinda bummed...
Girl #1: We would totally get our abortions together!
Girl #2: Oh my god, we would!
this oiny reminded me of the business plan xx, jensenator and i came up with last night. i said i was going to open an abortion clinic on 7th ave, "walk-ins welcome". xx said she'd open a "donate your baby to science" store, like the old salvation army, i guess. and we decided that jensenator could open the "happy vasectomy" clinic across the street. i think this would greatly improve park slope in general.
although i voiced my disapproval, they removed "dawn dream" from the set list, but they added a couple of new songs and "strangers" was totally awesome, dude.
before the show xx and jensenator and i had dinner at mo pitkin's house of satisfaction, which might be the best named restaurant i've ever been to. i had the brisket and it could've used a lot more trimming of the fat. it was tasty, but on more than one occasion i ended up with an entire mouthful of, well, ick. xx had the borscht salad, which i imagine is good if you're into that sort of thing, but beets are not for me. jensenator went rotisserie chicken style and that was yummy. plus, it came with mashed potatoes. the rolls were fantastic, and jensenator kindly allowed us to try his "loisida" (not so sure i spelled that right), which is cream soda and whiskey, and also divine.
we bounced into 12" who are now, because of their new management, open on mondays. the barmaid was thrilled to see us, cause apparently many of the clientele are still operating under the idea that there's no there there on mondays. she was not, however, thrilled to be there, as it was so slow. she was very nice, and clearly ready to lock up the bar as we headed over to the show.
i didn't hear much of the band before, and i don't remember their name, but two of our companions seemed to enjoy them OK, and one of them was really hot.
UPDATE: it seems like a number of bloggers went to see the band that opened for joemca, kunek. here are their takes (the link to jerry's review is fucked). i now remember jonny 5 saying something about "nicer melodies than coldplay" or some such.
More words blogger doesn't know:
in addition to being anti-mexican, they are clearly anti-semitic as well.
27 February 2006
consumerist has this great transcript of a customer trying to talk to overstock.com about her order. a bottle of perfume that was guaranteed to be delivered for valentine's day, but wasn't.
of course i will then have to book it to 'lyn to make the WYB! game. and seeing how i missed the season opening double-header, i really need to be there or they might kick me off the team.
oh, hells yeah. the maj and i are gonna fuck some shit up indian style for the month of july. so have fun sweating it up in new york. i'll be sweating it up in the valley of flowers. and possibly contracting malaria.
i have to admit, when torquil campbell came out and said something about a "fuck off rock show" i was more than a little skeptical. had these guys even listened to their own album? i'm not even sure i would have categorized it as rock. but they certainly proved me the hell wrong.
stars are one of the most energetic and mezmerizing live bands i've seen, and it's made all the better by the fact that so many of their songs are full of swooning bubbles of emopop. as much as your heart blushed the first time you listened to some of the songs, hearing them do it live and unabashedly singing along made me bounce uncontrollably for quite a while.
they did a nice mix of tunes, some off "set yourself on fire" (reunion, your ex-lover is dead, ageless beauty, one more night) and some off their earlier albums (which i'm not terribly familiar with). i was also very impressed with the crowd, who really got into the vibe.
so there you have it, stars are way better live than you think they might be.
NB: magnet opened. one dude looping himself and playing heavily radiohead-influenced electrock. not so much. i felt sad for him, because he was having a real hard time getting the audience to perk up. kept saying "i'm up here all by myself". but i think if you're gonna perform that kind of stuff all by yourself, you should stick to: come out on stage, sit your ass down, play your shit, stand up, bow, leave. you can't have it both ways.
speaking of bands i love live, here is the video for the russian futurist's single "paul simon". it's a fun time.
24 February 2006
The event, detected Feb. 18, looks something like a gamma-ray burst (GRB), scientists said. But it is much closer—about 440 million light-years away—than others. And it lasted about 33 minutes. Most GRBs are billions of light-years away and last less than a second or just a few seconds.
'k, so don't blow up or anything this weekend.
ck one and i hit stars on saturday night, celebrating my triumphant return to the world of going out. antibiotics my ass, there will be beer.
the F is messed up way out in the lettered avenues and i'm not going there, so neither should you. late sunday the F will skip 4 ave, 15st and fort hamilton pkwy (bklyn bound).
Leaning on train doors is dangerous -- so best not to do so.
best to provide efficient service and stop increasing the fares, motherfuckers.
enjoy your weekend rides!
Willner envisions his invention being used one day to precisely calculate and distribute doses of medicine from inside a patient's body
uh, ok. i'm going back to making einstein write dirty words.
yes, folks, the time has finally come. humanity has advanced far enough to allow you to enter your own text into this picture of einstein. as you can see, i went with my standard line, only i gave it more credibility by making it look like Albert Einstein was saying it. yes, i did.
anyway, the website makes you sign up for an account and then you click on all the shit you want and it tells you where to pick it up. i like the idea of ordering blindly and just hoping there is a chipotle within walking distance...
here is part of the confirmation email:
It can take 10-15 minutes for us to receive your order once it's been sent. So, please call your selected Chipotle in about 10 minutes to confirm that we received it. Otherwise, your order will not be made.
so first, you want me to spend 10 mintues registering and doing all your cutsey clicking for my shit, and then you want me to call you to confirm my order--ten minutes later? wtf? this, my beloved readers, is not quick and easy. it is complicated and stupid.
23 February 2006
Any number of indie rock groups fit the anti-image image, consciously or not. The ubiquitous Shins sprang quietly from Albuquerque, N.M., to change your life. My Morning Jacket are shaggy, Spoon are brainy, and the Constantines are Canadian, but all come off as groups of fairly regular dudes, not rock stars.
CANADIAN?!? no disrespect to the constantines, but what the bloody fuck does being canadian have to do with anything? that's just rude. does every band from canada get to be "indie"? i really don't understand what the hell that means.
and leave my morning jacket alone! i love them! CANADIAN. jesus christ.
apparently there is a boycott of brooklyn brewery going on based on the fact that the owner, Steve Hindy, is publicly supporting all-around shithead bruce ratner.
the gowanus canal's broken (read: clogged up with mafia hits) water pump should be fixed in 2008 instead of 2010. hurry up and buy now. awesome quote: and when there is flooding, there will be less fecal matter in the water -- Dan Wiley, community liaison for Representative Nydia Velazquez (d-the slope). the 19th c. pipes will be upgraded to push fecal overflow to a sewage treatment plant and will allow more power to pump "less-filthy" water from the Buttermilk Channel.
cousins II is closed.
this is an ap story--those of you familiar with kinara may remember that it took over the space that was once "Carnival Ice Cream". I was saddened when this place shut down, because it seemed like a cute little local ice cream shop. i don't think i ever actually went in there, but they used to have cakes and little decorations in the front window that made it look like a pretty happy place. turns out it was a happy little front for TERRORISM. that's right, the Yemeni owner was sentenced to 15.5 years for "illegally funnelling nearly $22 million to terrorists overseas". the owner, Abad Elfgeeh, said he didn't realize that the fellow immigrants who were transferring money through him were sending cash to terrorists. of course, the government says the money helped fund al-qaeda and hamas.
22 February 2006
and really, go US effin' A!
how come i started taking all this medicine and i only feel worse? the first person to explain this properly to me gets, i don't know, something to be mutually agreed upon.
21 February 2006
i don't have the new album, but they played quite a few off "sunlight makes me paranoid", which made me happy. the lead singer, though. wow.
this guy is somewhere between andrew w. k. and julian the strokes dude. and he's an idiot. elefant are not what i'd call 'hard', but this guy clearly didn't know that. he was jumping all over the place and did this hilarious thing where he'd crouch down and reach out to the audience like he was jon bon jovi in a video or something.
things got more interesting when he took off a fan's hat, put it on and then threw it up to the balcony. he missed though, it bounced off the side and fell back into the crowd. if that had been my hat, i'da been pissed. then he took of his HUGE BOOTS and threw them into the crowd. yes! i love a band that throws potentially injurous objects into the crowd. he then disposed of both of his socks and something else, which flew right at me and the maj, but we, along with everyone else around us, just jerked out of the way. the guy next to me picked it up, but i couldn't tell what it was.
they played a pretty short set, being the opener and all, so we were out of there by about 8pm. we had a quick two pitchers at grassroots before deciding it was just too cold to do anything else. plus, the moms was at my apartment apparently watching law & order after law & order, so i figured i should go hang out with her.
i made an appointment for 1230 yesterday and after all was said and done, i got home around 430. three hours in a doctor's office is just no fun. i love when the nurse comes in and says "he's just speaking with another doctor, it'll be about 10 minutes" and he shows up 45 minutes later. the good news is that i managed to make significant progress on a clockwork orange, which i have to finish soon because it's coming up on the netflix queue.
then i went to the pharmacy. here's what happens at the pharmacy:
1. you give them your papers and they say "about 1/2 hour" -- i'm sure they have plenty to do, but does it really take half an hour to dump 40 pills into two bottles? doubtful.
2. you come back in 25 minutes after you've killed all the time you can, miserable, wanting badly to get home and fall asleep on the couch, or as it turned out, bake an apple cake (so good) and stand there.
3. you walk over to the condoms and read all the different varieties. you notice that disturbing ky warming stuff.
4. they call your name and tell you you have no refills on a drug you were not prescribed. you panic. they realize you do not have a prescription for whatever they were talking about. you frantically check the bottles they give you.
5. they tell you you have to return the bottles they've just given you and take this receipt thing to the front and pay there because their register is down.
6. you wait in an infinitely long line to pay $50 for two medications.
7. you turn in your reciept for the pills and are finally released.
then, when your roommate comes home and you tell him you're sick and on antibiotics, he says something terrifying: "oh, i guess that means you can't drink".
anyway, here are some details and pictures of this bizzare and stinky place.
the first thing i noticed was a pungent, extremely unpleasant odor in the hallway. mom thought it was urine, but i know the smell of urine, and this wasn't it. i thought it smelled more like shit. eventually, we pinpointed it, the smell was vomit. mom said it was probably new carpet, cause sometimes that smells bad.
i've slept in a lot of different beds in my life. this was in the top five. unfortunately it (and the gorgeous down pillows and duvets) was so comfortable i kept waking up thinking, "ohh, this is great". but that's ok.
the curtains are controlled by a switch. yes, i spent about 10 minutes playing with the button. bzzzzz. bzzzzz. automatic curtains are fun.
the mini bar was pretty hoity toity, and annoying. stocked with requisite starbucks coffee drinks and coke, there was also courvosier, sofia wine (that canned stuff that the coppola kid "makes"), bloody teany tea drinks, two kinds of champagne and fancy nuts.
if you are skimming this, make sure you stop here and pay real attention: i was excited about a kit kat and picked it up only to discover that some very cheeky person had carefully opened the package, taken out ONE BAR and replaced it. ONE BAR. how do you eat one bar of a kit kat? and what kind of nerve is that?
i managed to break the nozzle for the steam shower, but i'm pretty sure it wasn't my fault. they had awesome bathrobes that were like duvets you could wear.
and now, the view:
17 February 2006
the m and g are splitting in to two sections. just stay away from them.
Safety reminder of the week: Hold your child and fold the stroller. It is the safest way to travel.
not too creative, that one.
on the way home i stopped at music matters and picked up "paper scissors rock", the ep from the mugs. i'll admit it disappointed me. the tracks they have to listen to online sound far more lush, so maybe they've remixed since the original recording. however, the mugs are playing scenic tonight, but as the moms is in town, and i'm pretty sure she's not gonna want to hit the show after we see whatever we're going to see at 122, i'm gonna have to miss this one. jerry yeti is planning on going, but i recommend to any of you out there with nothing to do tonight to buzz on down to scenic and check them out. and here's why.
the guy at music matters was extremely enthusiastic when he saw i was buying the ep. said they're really great live, sound better than the do on the ep. kexp is putting people on the guest list if you call them up and tell them you want to go. at least that's what they were doing yesterday.
and a little irony? these dudes used to play buttermilk (otherwise known as an extension of my living room in which beer is served) all the time. so i'm fairly sure that some day i walked past the milk, saw there was a band and said, "let's just go to commonwealth". i was thinking about how many times i did that, and how much i loved the jukebox and how tony (formerly of buttermilk) kept it stocked with quality tunes and i caught myself and realized. maybe i should have trusted buttermilk to have a fairly reasonable band. although the sound blows.
anyhoo. the moms and i are kickin' it hipster style and staying at the motherfucking hotel on rivington tonight. i hope we get the room with the three person shower, cause the moms is really fat. no, she's not. tomorrow the maj and i are going to see elefant and avoid black rebel motorcycle club. woot!
Metropolitan is finally on dvd, which means it's officially "in q" on netflix. but why, in the name of everything holy, is criterion not just doing a whole "whit stillman smorgasbord"?
i think whit and noah baumbach should get together and write a movie. any white person who sees it will spontaneously combust from dialogue overload.
16 February 2006
after a few rumors on various websites (and i assume a lot of people asking the box office) cobble hill cinemas really wants you to know it's still open:
i love it.
15 February 2006
san franciscans, who know pretty well that they're not gonna get any snow, cleverly decided to have a flashmob pillow fight. hippies.
i got to the window and tried to hand the lady my transitchecks plus US$1, but the little hole in the plexiglass was blocked. and then she said something that i had to ask her to repeat three times: "we don't sell anything here, you have to use the machines".
EXCUSE ME?!?! you don't sell anything at the fucking TOKEN BOOTHS? how the fuck did this get decided? why is she even there if she won't sell me a metrocard? this also begs the questions 1. why doesn't my company do that thing where they just send you the actual metrocard instead of transit checks? and 2. why don't the machines accept transit checks? and 3. what the fuck is fucking wrong with the fucking retarded mta? good jesus lord, it's incomprehensible the lack of common sense in that organization.
speaking of lack of common sense, i saw something that really set me giggling the other morning. this woman on the train was reading "sky mall". yes, that sky mall. the one you read only after you've already finished the book, magazine and newspaper you brought, have clearly read and understood all the safety procedures for this DC-10, can, at a moment's notice, tell someone what movies are playing on which routes in either direction, describe in detail the major airport hubs of that particular airline and have made a hand puppet out of the air sickness bag. that sky mall.
on the plane:
"oh, sky mall, i better remove that from the seat pocket in front of me so i can take it home and peruse it at my leisure. because it is full of quality products which are indispensible to my life and the lives of those i love."
on the subway: "i should pull out the sky mall i have brought with me, so i may peruse it and choose gifts for myself and those i love...such as the ergonomic haircare system, or an ionized bracelet, and for little jimmy, the home difibrillator. as i find these exciting gifts, i will fold down all the pages they are on so i will not forget what it is i want to purchase from sky mall."
yes, she was folding the pages so she could remember what to buy from fucking sky mall.
good luck, humanity.
anyway, they were PHENOMENAL. it was such a fun show. definitely an older crowd than i'm used to (read: mostly my age and older) but everyone was very much into it.
there's a great quality to their music that is at once comforting and exciting. their early 90s nostalgia goes a long way with me. and i think sarah cracknell has one of the most unique voices ever.
there was certainly no valentine from blogger yesterday, as the little bitch decided to throw a hissy fit and shut down all day. some of you might have been expecting a diatribe on vd, but i didn't have one anyway, so you didn't miss much.
so what, you ask, did i do for valentine's day? ordered chinese food and did my laundry. and watched the end of arrested development. no' bad, i say.
13 February 2006
of course there was also the stop at woodbury commons, where i bought out the american apparel outlet (t-shirts for 6 bucks!), and very barely resisted asking the sales clerk if aa told him to wear his hat all sideways like that.
here are some pictures for your enjoyment.
please do not think i did this weird formatting thing on purpose. i have neither the time nor the patience to try and make it look normal. forgive me.
we saw some pretty weird shit, including bar none, the ugliest wallpaper ever and a kitchen with formica walls. walls. i didn't even know you could do that.
Guy #2: Nah, nah, it's just that, you know, sayin' "holy fuck" is like talkin 'bout Jesus's mom fuckin' his dad and it's not cool to talk about Jesus's mom fuckin' people.
Guy #1: Dumbass, Jesus's mom didn't fuck anyone. She was a fuckin' virgin. How do I know this and you don't? You're the Christian.
Guy #2: What are you talkin' 'bout? How could Jesus have been born if his mom hadn't screwed his dad? Wait, who was Jesus's dad again?
Guy #1: Dude, are you serious?
friday (beta), woozy, guillaume and i went to the Rubin Museum (awesome museum, btw) for a screening of this super old german expressionist film, the golem (do i sound pretentious yet? give me a minute). the film was shown and this dude gary lucas was on hand to perform the score live. he had acoustic, electric and steel guitars and he was phenomenal. i could hardly watch the movie for his fingers flying all over the fretboard. it was fantastic. the movie itself is kind of whimsical. in that german expressionist kind of way.
so i went to the site to look up more about this gary lucas guy, and check this mofo out:
Gary Lucas is known for his collaborations with Jeff Buckley, Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band, Leonard Bernstein, Lou Reed, Nick Cave, David Johansen, John Cale, Mary Margaret O'Hara, John Zorn, Peter Stampfel, Patti Smith, Future Sound of London, Joan Osborne, Matthew Sweet, Iggy Pop, Bryan Ferry, Allen Ginsberg, Dr. John, Graham Parker, Bob Weir, and many others. Lucas co-leads a jazz-oriented instrumental Beefheart tribute band, Fast 'N' Bulbous. His band Gods and Monsters features Lucas on guitar, vocals and electronics and the rhythm section of Ernie Brooks (Modern Lovers) on bass and Billy Ficca (Television) on drums.
he made some truly weird sounds come out of that electric guitar.
i especially liked the part when burke walked into the OR where mcdreamy was performing BRAIN SURGERY (on another doctor's (who is currently in labor (but refuses to push because her husband isn't there)) husband) and was all "yo, what's up?" and mcdreamy was all "yeah, not much, just doing some brain surgery, no biggie". i would think you should really think twice before just barging into an OR (OR they?) and having a little chat with a doctor who's got someone's head sliced open. i mean what if mcdreamy had jumped or something and the scalpel went right into the dude's head. "oh, whoops. so that knicks game was a drag, huh?"
there's something about a show that makes me scream "now is not the appropriate time to discuss this!!!" upwards of six times per viewing.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! !!!!!! grey's anatomy, you torture me at every turn...
Check out our MusicCasts to hear clips from the show, learn why a particular song was chosen, and then hear that song in it's entirety!
you should all be shot.
10 February 2006
Due to the weather forecast ALL scheduled weekend diversions are cancelled.
we'll just stop running trains cause of ice on the tracks or something.
Reminder: Subway and Bus passengers are advised that their backpacks and other large containers are subject to random search by the police.
An asteroid as big as a stadium is heading toward Earth. The impact could obliterate an area the size of Delaware. What to do?
ever-so-slightly irresponsible, no?
but it turns out we won't have to leave bruce willis stranded in space to blow the fucker up, we can just send a giant "pendulum" up in space to "nudge" the little asteroid into a different orbit. there is already an asteroid that has from 1 in 5,000 to 1 in 10,000 chance of hitting us in 2036, so they're thinking of testing the theory on it.
now that i'm all smart about gravity from my smart people book, i wonder two things, 1. what if somehow, we pull it to some weird spot where it slams into us more...of course, by accident, but hey, remember the hubble and the mars rover? and 2. i would think you'd have to push the sucker pretty far off course for it to no longer be under the influence of the earth's g-pull. i mean, when it gets near to the earth...but of course, what the fuck do i know?
so here's my cast thus far:
charlize theron as the hard working, underappreciated tractor driver in space
clint eastwood as the head of nasa, who doesn't think charlize is up to the task and doesn't want to hear about it
harrison ford as the washed up space cowboy who gets to relive his glory days helping charlize learn the ropes
ewan mcgregor as the hot shot astronaut who finally meets his match in this hard working, underappreciated tractor driver in space
jake gyllenhaal as the overly understanding bf of the hard working, underappreciated tractor driver in space, who gets dumped for the hot shot astronaut
kevin spacey just for credibility
morgan freeman as the voice of the asteroid
u2 to do the song
oh, and bernie mac to fill up the minority/comic relief/someone's gotta die in the movie slot
09 February 2006
there's a little bit andrew bird going on here...
you gotta admit, it's getting kind of weird. but then again, some kid with a dream and a stolen guitar could be the next big thing in 6 months...
i would also like to know, when you look at this long list of crap they took--wouldn't it have been easier to steal the van, too? --probably because, on further reading, it was a trailer, which isn't quite as easy to drive away...
via the vegan.
huh, now i'm actually not so sure it was my building because they showed it at the wrong street. so, uh, don't take anything these guys say too seriously.
08 February 2006
but i've been reading about the launch of this songbird thingy (via waxy, see also lifehacker), i have zero idea how it works, and if there's really any point in me using it. however, i was totally stoked to see that on the screen cap they use in the boingboing article, there is a lovely selection of my morning jacket, to whom i am also currently listening.
so it seems as though i am...a wannabe nerd! someday maybe i'll get there.
and speaking of waxy, here's the trailer for nacho libre. despite the fact that it was directed by the guy who did napoleon dynamite, which i just will never get, it looks pretty funny. to wit: sometimes you wear stretchy pants.
has strongbad come to life? ok, this sbemail is one of the funnier ones i've seen in a while, although i've been slacking recently, keep this in mind, though: "Until a dorky chef's hat threatened to tear them apart." and "A cinematic breakfast snack of some kind".
HOLY SHIT! i now have a reason to buy a video ipod. strongbad podcasts!! OMG!!!
There's no way the bagel shop sign could be confused with the subway entrance. "The deli is clean and accessible," Perdomo quipped.
here's the old straphanger's report about being able to hear announcements on the trains. the 4 and 5 are doing OK cause they're all automated, but there is that annoying glitch where it says "for your safety, please do not hold or block the doors" or whatever that announcement is, about 4 dozen times in a row.
of course, it beats just enough crackle and human voice to wonder if the train's going out of service, derailing, going express or if the conductor just wanted to tell you the time an thank you for riding the mta.
Indeed, many of us have required considerable convincing before becoming persuaded that climate change is a real problem and that it ought to matter to us as Christians. But now we have seen and heard enough.
It shouldn't matter to you as humans, only as Christians. Good thing they finally came around, eh?
the Rev. Joel Hunter, pastor of a megachurch in Longwood, Fla., says: "As Christians, our faith in Jesus Christ compels us to love our neighbors and to be stewards of God's creation. The good news is that with God's help, we can stop global warming, for our kids, our world and for the Lord."
Ha! They want to do it for the Lord!!! The Lord does not give a fuck! And how can you do something for the Lord when you're going to need his help? "mom, will you help me clean the toilet? i'm doing it for you!"
The Evangelical Climate Initiative, at a cost of several hundred thousand dollars, is being supported by individuals and foundations, including the Pew Charitable Trusts, the Hewlett Foundation and the Rockefeller Brothers Foundation.
this is a bit unnerving. why is the Hewlett Foundation wrapped up in this? they wouldn't give me any money when i asked for it...
Jewish, Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox leaders also have campaigns under way.
Good, call in the big guns. the jews and catholics will just make global warming feel really guilty about what it's done.
Speaking of global warming, here are a couple articles about all that weird stuff they found in indonesia. i give it 3 months before the first mcdonald's wrapper is found on the ground.
The Taquito Moment is the test you didn't know you were giving until the other person failed. Sometimes, it's an impossible test.
"I say, hurl," Wayne advises Garth in "Wayne's World." "If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, it was never meant to be."
this actually works. my mom threw up on her and my dad's first date, and, well, they got married. he said it was the most interesting date he'd ever been on.
07 February 2006
although, this only works for the ladies apparently.
06 February 2006
corporate-casual comes to the rescue with a bizzare tale of the aggrandizing german.
i can't believe i didn't know this.
NEXT: My Morning Jacket's Jim James joined M. Ward on stage for four songs at Warsaw in Brooklyn Friday night (Feb 3).
"...Matt Ward took to the stage with a rhythm guitarist, bassist and drummer. Halfway through his set, Jim James came out for a few numbers and the crowd was happy a lot. The set spanned M.'s three albums...." [Trouser Mouse]
'k, so i was TOTALLY AT THAT SHOW AND HAD NO IDEA WHO THAT GUY WAS! and we were talking about it the next day and i was like "i couldn't really see him". and i LOVE LOVE LOVE MMJ!!!! ARGH!!!!
and, directly contrary to what i said would happen (jenny would show up at matt's show) m ward opened for jenny lewis....
you should really click on the trouser mouse link above, because he(?) describes how michael pitt smashed up his amp at the end of their set, and then had to come back out and clean it up. we were safely hidden in the bar at this point.
First, they’re all on about the stupid things the mta wants you to think it’s going to do sometime in the future. Glass doors on the platforms? What the hell for? So people can break them and to that scratchitti or whatever it’s called on them? I don’t think so. Maps so you can see not only which train you’re on but where all the others are for easier transfers? Methinks all this will cause is more frustration when you are arriving and you see that you will just barely miss the train to which you would like to transfer. Yeah, tell the commuters what they’re missing. Haven’t these people heard the phrase “ignorance is bliss”?
Then they move on to the map of atlantic yards. While it’s a useful rendition, atlantic yards puts me in a bad mood.
Finally there’s that stupid crap about using the “I heart ny” logo without someone’s consent. Please, people. Really.
sunday, xx and i walked down through sunset park. the most important part of this journey, aside from the superfluous dodgeball check in, was finding melody lanes!! let the bowling madness begin. i love bowling. it fits into my 'sports i can do whilst i drink beer' repertoire. (tonight it's trivia at last exit)
i finally finished reading nobrow, which i ended up liking more than i thought i would, although it wasn't really very groundbreaking. i've moved on to something lighter, the elegant universe. i'm on page 7 and i'm not confused yet.
gorenski was having the requisite superbowl party, so we picked up some sam adams winter lager (quite a winner, that one) and enjoyed some homemade (and super delicious) chicken wings. of course, someone like me, who didn't even know who was in the superbowl until like friday, doesn't give a shit about watching the game. i decided to go for the seahawks and found myself quite the minority. the disappointed minority. but let's face it, it's really about the ads. so here are the ads that won my heart or made me cringe (most of them are watchable here or here):
NB: what was up with those stupid montages of the players with the trophy? there are all sorts of arguments against this...why are they posing with something they haven't won? who wants to see this shit? and did anne geddes take these?
i get a lot of shit for drinking bud light, but i like it and it gets me drunk. i have never been more proud to be a bud light drinker than when the "hidden bud lights" ad kicked things off (pardon the pun). i imagine my own joy would be similar if i were trying to find bud lights hidden all over my office. mmmm, beer.
perhaps it was my recent viewing of grizzly man, but the "save yourself" bud light was totally hilarious as well. way to come back at the last second with a zinger, bud!
who the fuck did kermit's voice in that hybrid suv ad? it sounded terrible. not that i really cared, cause hybrid or not, i don't want kermie selling cars. ever.
the burger king ad, as well as that hummer ad where the robot and a relative of jabba the hut have a baby and it's a hummer, were pretty effed up. but props to them for making an ad about food that nauseates people, and making me picture a robot and a relative of jabba the hut doin' it. daring, kids.
the emerald nuts guys (link no worka), normally pretty reliable with their absurd little spots, fell short this time. you're trying too hard, kids.
fedex struck out with the caveman thing. at least for me. it was mildy entertaining, but, like the hummer ad, i could see just how much money (well not exactly how much, but i knew it was probably more than i make in a year) they pissed away just making the thing.
mastercard succeeded in making me want to watch 'half baked' again.
most of the budweiser ads managed to equal the bud light ads, only in suck rather than funny.
i noted how i was impressed that aleve were willing to spend so much money to target the arthritic trekkie. someone pointed out that lots of them probably did have arthritis from playing video games. i noted they probably had it from constant jerking off.
just after halftime (i'm not even touching that), we went to bar bq to meet up with some other folks. they had a whole roasted pig (forgot the digicam, or i'd have a picture of its little roasted head) and mac 'n'cheese. i'd eaten my body weight in wings, so i skipped the snacks. but just after my carlesberg and i sat down, the cheerstobeer ad came on. of course, by this time i'd imbibed just enough of the celebrated beverage to think this was the greatest commercial, for the greatest product, ever in the entire world.
we were still at gorenski's when something terrible happened. a bright blue liquid ran through a tube on the screen, then a bright green one. i immediately knew: here comes the shitty-ass, stupid razor-that-will-change-the-way-you-shave-forever commercial. i threatened to kill someone and my conviction was questioned when i didn't follow through on it. i tried to ignore it every subsequent time it aired.
there was a good one for a phone i think with a benny hill homage. also good use of the song "baby come back", which is both underappreciated and underrepresented in bar jukeboxes. perhaps a good one for karaoke?
note to dove: you may not use "true colors" in an ad. under any circumstances.
xx and i decided to take off and head home. but we also decided we weren't quite drunk enough, and we'd certainly need some beer for gray's anatomy XL, featuring a "code black". we stopped at a bodega, but none of the beers had prices on, so i said to the guy "what's your cheapest six-pack? we have $7". he gave us some miller light and carded us, which struck me as hysterical.
when we got home we proceeded to annoy the shit out of xy roommate by continually repeating the phrase "i wish i could quit you" and forcing beer on him. he was delighted.
this one to the left here is the cables above the bridge. this picture doesn't do them any justice when you consider that it was a perfectly clear night and i could see all of 12 or so stars behind the cables. also, the cables are not red in real life.
this whole walk came about since the maj and i were headed off to warsaw to see m ward. we figured since it was such an insanely warm winter eve, we should walk from the les.
we stopped off for a lovely smithwick's at royal oak, which i loved. certainly one of the most village-pub-esque bars in all of nyc. i will be returning.
as one of the great mysteries of the universe, someone booked this band pagoda (which includes michael pitt, whom you may remember from such movies as 'the dreamers', that gus van sant thing about kurt cobain and 'murder by numbers') as the opener. clearly michael hasn't gotten past his days of pretending to be KC. he was sporting a shaggy haircut which he made sure covered most of his face, a surplus army jacket, and the same blue guitar as the man himself. he also impersonated the wailing scream, the 'woe is me' lyrics and the tortured soul look. this. band. sucks. ass. hard. they were so bad, no one in the audience was even bobbing their heads. most people were looking around at each other and whispering what i can only imagine were thoughts of disappointment and anger. the maj and i booked out to the bar and waited for the pain to stop.
m ward was excellent. this was a much more diverse show than the other ones i've seen. he did a lot more of his quieter stuff, which was lovely. he had a piano and a band, which made things more interesting. i was very pleased when, for his second encore, he played 'carolina', which was the song that got me hooked.