Love, like mayonnaise, is a texture thing.

bonnaroo just sent me this article about being picky in love. so in the spirit of the upcoming celebration of that very emotion, i give it to you. watch out for arm hair.

The Taquito Moment is the test you didn't know you were giving until the other person failed. Sometimes, it's an impossible test.

"I say, hurl," Wayne advises Garth in "Wayne's World." "If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, it was never meant to be."

this actually works. my mom threw up on her and my dad's first date, and, well, they got married. he said it was the most interesting date he'd ever been on.