06 February 2006

the wrap-up

saturday night i played loser, as did my roommates, and we stayed in and watched grizzly man. have you seen this movie? first of all, i do not recommend watching it after watching 4 straight episodes of 'curb your enthusiasm', cause it's hard enough to take that treadwell guy seriously, but when you're already thinking like larry david, you (or at least i) become downright evil. anyway, i don't think we were supposed to be laughing quite as much as we did, but we did. that dude... yeah, Issues.

sunday, xx and i walked down through sunset park. the most important part of this journey, aside from the superfluous dodgeball check in, was finding
melody lanes!! let the bowling madness begin. i love bowling. it fits into my 'sports i can do whilst i drink beer' repertoire. (tonight it's trivia at last exit)

i finally finished reading
nobrow, which i ended up liking more than i thought i would, although it wasn't really very groundbreaking. i've moved on to something lighter, the elegant universe. i'm on page 7 and i'm not confused yet.

gorenski was having the requisite superbowl party, so we picked up some sam adams winter lager (quite a winner, that one) and enjoyed some homemade (and super delicious) chicken wings. of course, someone like me, who didn't even know who was in the superbowl until like friday, doesn't give a shit about watching the game. i decided to go for the seahawks and found myself quite the minority. the disappointed minority. but let's face it, it's really about the ads. so here are the ads that won my heart or made me cringe (most of them are watchable
here or here):

NB: what was up with those stupid montages of the players with the trophy? there are all sorts of arguments against this...why are they posing with something they haven't won? who wants to see this shit? and did anne geddes take these?

i get a lot of shit for drinking bud light, but i like it and it gets me drunk. i have never been more proud to be a bud light drinker than when the "
hidden bud lights" ad kicked things off (pardon the pun). i imagine my own joy would be similar if i were trying to find bud lights hidden all over my office. mmmm, beer.

perhaps it was my recent viewing of grizzly man, but the "
save yourself" bud light was totally hilarious as well. way to come back at the last second with a zinger, bud!

who the fuck did kermit's voice in that
hybrid suv ad? it sounded terrible. not that i really cared, cause hybrid or not, i don't want kermie selling cars. ever.

the burger king ad, as well as that
hummer ad where the robot and a relative of jabba the hut have a baby and it's a hummer, were pretty effed up. but props to them for making an ad about food that nauseates people, and making me picture a robot and a relative of jabba the hut doin' it. daring, kids.

the emerald nuts guys (link no worka), normally pretty reliable with their absurd little spots, fell short this time. you're trying too hard, kids.

fedex struck out with the
caveman thing. at least for me. it was mildy entertaining, but, like the hummer ad, i could see just how much money (well not exactly how much, but i knew it was probably more than i make in a year) they pissed away just making the thing.

mastercard succeeded in making me want to watch 'half baked' again.

most of the budweiser ads managed to equal the bud light ads, only in suck rather than funny.

i noted how i was impressed that
aleve were willing to spend so much money to target the arthritic trekkie. someone pointed out that lots of them probably did have arthritis from playing video games. i noted they probably had it from constant jerking off.

just after halftime (i'm not even touching that), we went to
bar bq to meet up with some other folks. they had a whole roasted pig (forgot the digicam, or i'd have a picture of its little roasted head) and mac 'n'cheese. i'd eaten my body weight in wings, so i skipped the snacks. but just after my carlesberg and i sat down, the cheerstobeer ad came on. of course, by this time i'd imbibed just enough of the celebrated beverage to think this was the greatest commercial, for the greatest product, ever in the entire world.

we were still at gorenski's when something terrible happened. a bright blue liquid ran through a tube on the screen, then a bright green one. i immediately knew: here comes the shitty-ass, stupid razor-that-will-change-the-way-you-shave-forever commercial. i threatened to kill someone and my conviction was questioned when i didn't follow through on it. i tried to ignore it every subsequent time it aired.

there was a good one for a phone i think with a benny hill homage. also good use of the song "baby come back", which is both underappreciated and underrepresented in bar jukeboxes. perhaps a good one for karaoke?

note to dove: you may not use "true colors" in an ad. under any circumstances.

xx and i decided to take off and head home. but we also decided we weren't quite drunk enough, and we'd certainly need some beer for gray's anatomy XL, featuring a "code black". we stopped at a bodega, but none of the beers had prices on, so i said to the guy "what's your cheapest six-pack? we have $7". he gave us some miller light and carded us, which struck me as hysterical.

when we got home we proceeded to annoy the shit out of xy roommate by continually repeating the phrase "i wish i could quit you" and forcing beer on him. he was delighted.

No comments: