10 February 2006

sure, but no one's gonna want to see a movie about a gravity tractor

firstly, i am disappointed in cnn for using scare tactics. the opening paragraph of this article about what to do if a giant asteroid is heading toward earth starts thusly:

An asteroid as big as a stadium is heading toward Earth. The impact could obliterate an area the size of Delaware. What to do?

ever-so-slightly irresponsible, no?

but it turns out we won't have to leave bruce willis stranded in space to blow the fucker up, we can just send a giant "pendulum" up in space to "nudge" the little asteroid into a different orbit. there is already an asteroid that has from 1 in 5,000 to 1 in 10,000 chance of hitting us in 2036, so they're thinking of testing the theory on it.

now that i'm all smart about gravity from my smart people book, i wonder two things, 1. what if somehow, we pull it to some weird spot where it slams into us more...of course, by accident, but hey, remember the hubble and the mars rover? and 2. i would think you'd have to push the sucker pretty far off course for it to no longer be under the influence of the earth's g-pull. i mean, when it gets near to the earth...but of course, what the fuck do i know?

so here's my cast thus far:

charlize theron as the hard working, underappreciated tractor driver in space
clint eastwood as the head of nasa, who doesn't think charlize is up to the task and doesn't want to hear about it
harrison ford as the washed up space cowboy who gets to relive his glory days helping charlize learn the ropes
ewan mcgregor as the hot shot astronaut who finally meets his match in this hard working, underappreciated tractor driver in space
jake gyllenhaal as the overly understanding bf of the hard working, underappreciated tractor driver in space, who gets dumped for the hot shot astronaut
kevin spacey just for credibility
morgan freeman as the voice of the asteroid
u2 to do the song
oh, and bernie mac to fill up the minority/comic relief/someone's gotta die in the movie slot

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