31 May 2006

adventures in customer service

the last 15 minutes have presented me with what are hopefully the final chapters in two misadventures in which i've been lately involved.

the first is to do with my email at work. for those of you who use outlook, you might be familiar with the handy little tool known as "auto-complete". this means when you put someone in your contacts whose name is Crackhead Buttjammer, all you have to type in your "to" field is "crack" and bill gates fills in the rest. only we got a new server recently. i'm sure in the long run this will bring us nothing but great joy, for now it's a motherfucking pain in my ass. all my files require half a dozen more mouse clicks than they used to, i had to reset all my shortcuts and this new problem with email is hassling me.

since i've seen a number of verbatim emails reproduced in blogs cause nothing but trouble, here is my version of what happened (and i'm paraphrasing myself here)

Dear Tech Support:

My little thingy that makes names pop up in the "to" field of my email doesn't seem to be working. Instead, I have to scroll through my contacts list and select them. This is especially difficult for my distribution lists, as it becomes very time consuming. Next time you're in the office, can you fix this?




Dear Wild Cherry Sara,

Since we got a new server, you and your distribution lists are fucked. Sorry. You'll have to redo them all.

Tech Support


Dear Tech Support,

I actually already did redo all the lists, but they still aren't recognized until i go through that drop down menu that allows you to choose from the "universal" contacts or my "personal" contacts. This sucks for me.



No response at press time.

Update. turns out they could and did fix the problem. hooray!

Nextly, we deal with Cingular Wireless. I'm not linking to them because you can figure out what their website is and there's no real reason to anyway.

I had this LG phone that had a mysterious icon on it some of the time. it was a little arrow pointing up. I looked high and low through the user's manual and there was no mention of this icon. i called cingular and a very nice lady and i had some chuckles over it and she couldn't find it either.

then, two months ago there was a $75 charge on my bill for internet use. i don't use the internet on my phone--ever. ever, ever, ever, ever EVER. when i accidentally push that button i fly into a panic and smash cancel as hard and as frequently as possible until i get that reassuring blank screen with the time and "cingular" on it.

anyhow, insanely long story involving about seven (20+ minute) phone calls to cingular short, i got all the charges (and subsequent charges) removed and they sent me a replacement phone. i'll give them this, cingular customer service i swear used to be staffed by prisoners at minimum security prisons. surly idiots who could not have given less of a shit (not that i can blame them) about me and my phone problems. but they've been replaced by very nice (indians?) people, one of whom told me all about how he's going to buy a new car (new to him) and he was gonna sell his mom his old car but he totalled it and it was almost paid off and...

ok, so i got a new phone. yay! and it wasn't logging on to the internet every single minute of the day. yay! but i realized after a couple people said "didn't you get my message?" that the voice mail icon was no where to be found. boo!

so again i called and they explained that (oops!) the new sim card they'd sent with my new phone didn't work with that phone (why they shipped these two things together if they do not work in tandem is beyond me), but they would gladly and promptly send a new one. which they did, and i got it today. and i called to activate it and it turns out they sent ANOTHER WRONG SIM CARD. what the bloody fuck? isn't there a bin marked "LG phones" and a bin next to it marked "sim cards that work with LG phones" or something like that in the big warehouse in texas where they keep all this shit? good god.

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