17 October 2005

bodega bodrama

so, after seeing the wonderful and talented john vanderslice at southpaw on saturday. i went to a friend's party. i had every intention of getting home at a reasonable hour, and as long as you count 5am as reasonable, i achieved my goal.

due mostly to laziness, i hadn't eaten dinner that night and so whilst skipping home with my roommate and a friend, i decided to hit up a local bodega for their amazing bbq chicken sandwiches (read: the kind of food one only thinks about eating when drunk). i walked up to the window (the door was locked and they have one of those lazy susan type things) and asked the guy for four sannies...he was dancing around like he was in an ipod commercial and brandishing some object in his right hand. when he came closer to the window, he aimed said object at me and screamed with hysterical laughter. at first i thought it was a gun, but much to my, not-so-much-relief, it turned out to be a
small axe. a hatchet if you will. or in cockney: "'atchet". however you pronounce it, it surprised the hell out of me.

what was really interesting was how this guy was just waving it around and giggling. despite ordering four bbq chicken sandwiches, we got home to discover that we had two fried chicken sandwiches and two cheeseburgers, which we ate anyway. during this meal, my roommate and i discussed the probablility that the clerk was a) on a lot of drugs, b) recently escaped from some state or federal institution, c) not actually an employee there, but a guy who brutally murdered the real clerk and threw his chopped up body in the beer cooler or d) all of the above.

the next day my roommate informed me that he'd been down to the deli below our apartment and asked about our missing again sunday times...turns out they again denied all knowledge of it. but it also turns out they saw me stealing (what i am 90% sure was) our sunday times back from their newspaper rack last weekend. so i think i can't go to the deli on my corner anymore...whoops.

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