15 November 2005

all beer and no food makes sara a drunk girl

yes, yes, y'all. and you don't stop.

i am hungover. and here's why.

the evening started early with a reading of Tom Sykes's article in
bestlife, which is from his upcoming book, "what did i do last night?" from Rodale next year...at the 21 club.

the 21 club is very woody and leathery. on one floor there is a mantle that holds every size champagne bottle, even that super gigantic one that is like the size of a person.

the stairs creak. when you go to the loo, a lady opens the stall for you. and then she says to your friend, "how did you get invited?" and you think, "i know i'm supposed to tip you, but i'm sure as shit not gonna now!"

we walked up to the reading, which took place in a room with nautical theme. perhaps the whole club had a nautical theme and i missed it, but this room certainly had a nautical theme. there was another theme, too, the number 21.

there was free booze!!! we took advantage of the free booze. i am proud as hell to say, "i double-fisted at the 21 club". i might make a t-shirt. you can put the girl into class, but you can't put class into the girl. there were canapes...lovely little snackies. i skipped the caviar, but the little cheeseburgers were pretty tasty, they had lamb chops just like my
friend's wedding, and just like at my friend's wedding, a bunch of people were cluelessly standing around wondering what the fuck to do with the lamb bones in their hands, some little quiches and the star of the show: filo pastry filled with mushrooms and goat cheese, i could have eaten many many pounds of these.

my friend and i found a table and sat down and enjoyed the free food. when one of our coworkers asked if she was drinking a shirley temple, we discussed the differences between that and what she was actually drinking, which was vodka, soda & cranberry. when i mentioned perhaps he assumed it was a soft drink due to her being a mormon, she calmly told me: "i might be mormon someday, i just haven't gotten around to it."

anyway, tom gave a nice little reading about getting sober, everyone in the room enjoyed it whilst getting drunk. when he finished i said, "ta ta" to those i knew and hopped on the F to
floyd for bocce domination.

on the way to floyd myself and i had the following conversation:
Myself: hmm, i'm kinda hungry and those hors d'ouvres weren't really 'dinner'
I: i know i'll end up not eating anything else tonight even though i should
myself: maybe i should stop and get a shwarma or something
i: dinner is for pussies, more beer
myself: i'll skip dinner and just have like one beer at bocce and nurse it, that will be fine
i: time to get rovered!
(NB: "rovered" is a word my friend and i made up, i'm introducing it into the lexicon. lexicon: rovered, rovered: lexicon. it means extremely drunk to the point of feeling as though you might have been hit by a british sport utility vehicle)

it was a harrowing game, and although i played very well the first round, i fell apart by the end. perhaps because i was fairly drunk. at least i didn't do tequila shots...hey, go me! i resisted tequila shots. (come to think of it, had they been offered later in the night, i'd probably be nursing an even worse hangover and trying desperately not to vomit every other second.)

of course after our victory, a teammate and i decided there was nothing better to do than go to brooklyn social. because there's no reason to go home if it's nearing midnight and you're already drunk. no, you should go have another beer. yes.

when i talked to this friend this morning, her first words, taken straight from my mouth, were, "what is wrong with us?" what is wrong with us, indeed. i'm beginning to think there is something wrong with us. because most logical people know better than to not eat dinner and get rovered on a monday night.

so this morning i awoke, decided that sleep was far more important than a shower and actually was surprised that my head was throbbing. i should have known i was fucked when i realized i'd been dreaming about chocolate milk--the hangover's arch nemesis--and water. i drank so much water i thought i would puke. my body was so dehydrated i tried to swallow the mouthwash.

the stairway in my building had some sort of crazy stench going on. somewhere between melting crayons and a wet dog who's just rolled in shit. needless to day, it did not help my situation.

thank god tonight i'm just seeing a movie. maybe a wee drink after.

here's the lowdown on the game from maliorules. he neglected to mention that i was drunk when i showed up at the game, but i think i covered that pretty well here. he was also kind enough to leave out just how much i sucked toward the end of the game. but we all pulled together to win in the end!

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