23 September 2005

warning: angry rant ahead

because of tremble, i had the misfortune of reading this article in the times about strollers. as a sloper, i am confronted with these irritants on a daily basis. i've also noticed that new yorkers are so lazy they'll push their kid around in a stroller until they're 4 or 5 so they don't have to pick them up or make them walk faster.

strollers are a pain in the ass all day long. especially on the subway. i've helped a few people carry those things down the stairs, which is no easy task without assistance, but people with strollers shouldn't travel during rush hour. and if they do, they don't get to park their stroller in font of three seats, effectively annexing a chunck of the subway for their child and glaring at those of us who are glaring at them thinking "look, bitch, i'm tired, move your goddamned stroller" as though they are entitled to the extra space because they have a stroller. you think you need extra space because you have kids? move out of the city, get a house in the suburbs and drive all over the place, then you can sit all the time. i once saw a woman with four kids, she had two twin boys around 6 and a girl of about 4 and a baby in a pretty sizeable carriage. she managed to take up less space than a lot of the other women i see with just the strollered child. she obviously put some thought into which area of the car she might be least in the way of other passengers, and when the doors opened she would move a little to try to get out of peoples' way. plus, she was feeding her kids carrots or grapes or something healthy instead of the normal rubbish kids are generally jamming down their throats. so i say, go that mom! and screw the rest of you!

strollerers also seem to think it's fine for them to stop in the middle of the sidewalk and have conversations with their friends, it's annoying enough when normal people do this, but you take up like twice as much room, dude! most people are considerate enough to move over so a stroller can have a direct path to the ramp onto the sidewalk, how about realizing that some of us have somewhere to BE! happy hour is almost over, get out of the way.

so the times quotes this guy, who is just a total putz:
Mr. Ford, who offers thoughts about parenting on ModernDayDad.com, said that owning a Bugaboo means that he never has to worry if the stroller will be able to handle certain terrain - and it's an eye-pleaser. "I like how it comes in solid colors. It's not some sort of ugly plaid or ducks and bunnies," he said. "I love its industrial design. I love how it's made of metal, how strong it is."

he likes his stroller because it comes in solid colors? i know, plaid is ugly and ducks and bunnies are so passe. i can't get over what a pretentious fuckhead this guy sounds like. but he's beat me to the punch:
"If you've got a problem," Mr. Ford said, "then you've got issues beyond my stroller."

you're right, i've got issues with a lot of shit, but so do you. and so will your child. this jackass spent $700 on a stroller. that money could have gone to about 2 billion better causes. strollers don't need to go off-roading, they're meant for the road!

In July a $600-plus Mountain Buggy Urban Double Stroller helped shield a 7-month-old baby as a Manhattan building collapsed around her, setting off a flurry of posts in parenting chat rooms about the potential value of utility strollers.
that's really awesome that the baby made it out alive, but i'm not sure it's worth spending that kind of money on a stroller on the off chance that a building might collapse around you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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