11 December 2012

it's all a mystery

this is a technomolociaglly themed post. i know you guys are mega geeks like me so it's all good. first up, we have this yesterday morning's commute. my iPod's battery died and blah blah lazy blah blah didn't listen to music on my way in today. that didn't matter, cause someone on the bus was fucking blazing his ears off with some shite techno shite. so i was in like the fifth row of the bus. i had to narrow it down. this is where i discover i am a racist.  i looked around. it was clearly not a chick. we dont listen to cock music. and this was like gay cock music. but cock music, nonetheless.

so my options are: guy with shaved head and from what i can see not impressive facial hair who has a blackberry and some clear headphones that like come up around the back of your ears and look more like a hearing aid than a hearing destroyer. chap 2: beats by dre headpones and his collar up (twat). these were who it was, in order. the first guy i was like 'wow dude that is really loud cause you're in the first row and i am way back here in the fourth row so holy jesus, you are not going to be able to hear much longer'. he totally ruined my theory when he departed the bus (looking much older than i thought he was from the front) and the noise remained. then it was little mini twat. he was young, and as we know, the young are prone to stupid behaviour like keeping their noises too loud and being anywhere i am. then he got up and left the bus. 

so now there was just one bottle of beer on the wall. the guy right in front of me. here's the racist part. i pegged the facial hair guy and the young guy even though their distance from me was not in any way indicative that they might be the culprit. so this guy, sat in front of me, was spilling his shitty techno all over my airwaves. he was, in no particular order, asleep (who can sleep with that shit on??), large (like very rotund), asian, possibly chinese, with a longish pony tail (vaguely pink from previous dye job), old and sporting fu man chu facial hair. 

dont be racist, kids.
hello from 1994

next up we have something that's been causing me endless joy ever since i saw it. someone hacked a website .here is what they did.

i mean if this isn't the lamest hack since johnny lee miller and angelina jolie in that movie (which i have of course not seen like 20 times), i don't know what is. but it's also fucking brilliant. yeah evil hacker. it gives me a weird sense of joy to know that these kinds or people are still kicking around, doing this rather than making hats out of people.

and finally, last thursday i was cajoled into going out for a few pints and the liverpool match. of course, i got home at 9 or so and was thinking 'why stop now?'. so i called up xx via face time on my phone and cracked open a pumpkin ale. cut to two hours later. she has found a bottle of whisky she claims is mine (i have never bought jamesons ever) (she also hates whisky) and i have started to eye up a 2-year-old bottle of polish gin.

this is the part where you're all 'holes in the story, wcs! your battery wouldnt last that long!' and, my smart readers, you are right. it was also around this time that we were grappling with my dying battery on my phone, which we still had to use to communincate properly to figure out what was going on with the SIMULTANEOUS usage on my macbook of: facetime, iChat video, Gchat video and a Google+ hangout. for those of you keeping count, that means we were on five different versions of the same kind of programma and couldnt get any of them to work. it was not cause we were drunk!

ps after the last guy got off the bus, you could hear something else. the guy two rows behind me snoring. ahh, commuting.

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